Today has been one of the most frustrating days I’ve had as a parent thus far. I planned out a great day: healthy breakfast, clean the kitchen, go for a walk and wash the dog. All of those things happened, but not as pleasantly as they sound. Sonshine was in T.T.M. (Tazmanian Toddler Mode), therefore making every task more complicated. I strapped my patience on and grit my teeth through each activity. I have been trying to practice mindfulness, but then I realized… toddlers make you crazy! Here is why:
- They hate the same exact food that they loved yesterday. This is especially frustrating when you pack a lunch and there aren’t any acceptable food options around.
- They touch you so much that you’d be happy to never be touched again. EVER. IN. LIFE. Being “touched-out” is a real thing.
- They live attached to your leg. Ever try cooking dinner, cleaning or doing anything with a toddler standing in every direction you move? It’s like they shadow clone themselves to always be in the way.
- They want to be independent, yet are slower than Mr. Roger’s (Neighborhood), and have a complete meltdown if you try to help them (aka speed up the process so you can get out the door because although everyone is ready, 30 extra minutes disappeared).
- They never see the thing you are pointing to, naming, describing and asking them to pick up.
Parent: “Please pick up that block.”
Toddler: (Looking perplexed as if you are speaking in another language).
Parent: “The red block. That red, triangle block. Right there! Go over there! Okay, stop! Now look down.”
Toddler: (Spins around whilst looking down and still can’t find it).
Parent: “By your feet! LOOK, IT’S RIGHT THERE!”
And just when you are in a complete tizzy and decide to walk over to get it, your toddler bends down and picks it up.
Every single one of those things happened to me today – all before 2pm. Plus the dog’s shenanigans – only wanting to walk on one side of the street, running while getting a bath, taking a piss on said hose that I was about to wash him with and crying all day. The combination of the toddler + dog = a Super PAC of Frustration that cannot be rivaled. That was it – my patience was defeated. I completely lost my ish in my driveway. Yes, I turned into a complete crazy person while both of them stared at me as if I were tripping for no reason. Arrrrgh! Good thing most of my neighbors were at work. I may have scared off the other neighbors from ever speaking to me again. Is it frowned upon to have wine for lunch?
Mommy Can Learn 