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Public Meltdown: The Time I Became THAT Mom

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Today I decided to take a quick trip to a large, popular farmers market to get a few things that I can’t get as cheap anywhere else.  Though it was during his nap time (he didn’t seem tired at all), Sonshine was excited to get out of the house and frankly I was as well.

He was rather quiet during the car ride there so I had no indication of what was to come.  We got out of the car and he happily sat down in the cart.  I was surprised that the farmers market so crowded considering it was a weekday afternoon.  It was the perfect amount of people to witness my son act like a complete donkey and embarrass me like I’ve never been embarrassed before.  I would have rather tripped on my face or loudly farted than be looked at as a pathetic mom with an out of control toddler.

He wanted to push the cart and when I said no he started throwing our items around the cart.  This was already uncharacteristic behavior for him so I tried to keep a low profile by giving him a toy and talking to him in a really sweet voice.  He quickly went from LittleCrankyBoots to Toddzilla.  He screamed at the top of his lungs, tried to get out of the cart and yelled “no mommy!” at me several times.

After quietly and nonchalantly waiting for him to calm down, I started to feel warm.  It was the heat from the deathray stares that I received from the other shoppers.  Disapproving looks, snarls, head shakes, pursed lips, “hmphs,” and other nonverbal judgments came hurling my way.  That’s when it hit me: I was THAT mom.  The mom with the out of control, heathen kid with no home training because clearly I wasn’t doing my job.  Three short years ago I would have been judging the hell outta THAT mom.  I wanted to completely disappear.  Just melt right into the floor.

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At that moment, a grandma came up to me and said, “honey, I have a few grown kids.  Just ignore him.  You can’t spank him or it will make it worse.  He’s a toddler; they’re crazy.  And don’t worry about these people, if they have kids they’ll understand and if they don’t well, they have no opinion.”  Bless her heart.  I was so thankful for her kind words.

So the next time I’m out and I see THAT mom, I’ll be sure to leave my judgments where they are and if we happen to catch each other’s eye, I’ll give her a kind “I totally understand,” smile and I’ll keep it moving as if her kid isn’t having a rough time.  It doesn’t make her kid (or mine) a bad kid because they are having a bad day.  Parenting is a lot of work when our kids are having good days, we certainly don’t need the extra pressure or judgment when times are tough.

Have you ever been THAT mom?  Tell me about it in the comments below.

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Where Has The Time Gone… Part 2

So remember when I said “if I ever go on another hiatus I’ll let you know ahead of time?”  Yeaaah… about that.  My bad.  It’s not even that things were super hectic, aside from my computer practically dying, mom and best friend coming into town for my birthday, us traveling to our home state to see an ill family member, having a situation with our dog and the terror that is teething.  I just fell off.  That’s it.  No excuse.

I don’t know why it is so hard for me to be consistent when it comes to motivating myself and executing my visions.  Whenever my friends (or a stranger for that matter) have an idea, I am the first one to turn into their unsolicited personal cheerleader and encourage them to do it, even finding ways to expand on their proposal. I have yet to find that fire for myself.  I have so many great ideas in my head, but that’s all they are: ideas.  At times I get overwhelmed with my mental haste, yet simultaneously annoyed with my physical lagging.  In my head, I am an active and dedicated person: exercising everyday, being outdoorsy, cooking great meals, reading a book a month, doing awesome DIY projects, blogging consistently, and of course being supermom (and wife); basically everything I rather leisurely do now.  I tend to procrastinate a bit (read: most of my life) and have a general fear of doing things, even my own desires.  It’s as if I’m afraid that I’ll fail before I even begin.  And then today I saw this:

fail end no

I have seen many motivational and encouraging posters before, but something about this one has struck a nerve.  So I am making a declaration that AS OF THIS MOMENT (read: tomorrow or so) I am going to STOP (read: kinda try to stop) being a scaredy cat, STOP second guessing myself, STOP worrying about other people’s opinions and just write.  Hey, it’s my life and who can tell my story better than me, right?