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The Time My Son Got Pee On My Face

Pee2

“OMG!  OMG!  PEE!  There’s PEE on my FACE!”  That sentence was all that I could repeat to my friend on the phone.  I was stunned.  That was a moment I was never prepared for as a mom.

About 2 minutes earlier, I was doing a little cleaning in the bathroom when I noticed that it was eerily quiet in LoveBug’s room.  A different kind of quiet.  Mom’s have an innate sort of “spidy sense” that tells us when our kids are getting into something that they shouldn’t.  As I peek around the corner, I see LoveBug putting crayons in his potty.  Now, he has never been one to play with pee so I was quite surprised.  After telling him that we don’t touch pee, I picked him up and that’s when it happened.  A tiny, cold, wet hand touched my arm.  My brain immediately sounded the alarm.  PEE!  PEE!  There’s pee on me!  Eject the child!  No don’t eject the child!  Find baby wipes!  Eww!  As I look down at my arm in disgust, he TOUCHES MY FACE!  Noooooooooo!  I shrieked, “UGGGH!”  Seeing that I am upset, and being the sensitive child that he is, he got upset too.  I ended up comforting him although he’s the one that put pee on me!  Sigh, I digress.

I got him in the bath and cleaned my face.  After splashing around for bit, he peed in the tub.  What gives?  He jumped up, practically leaping onto my lap, and got my clothes soaking wet.  “Is this really happening?  And all before 9 a.m.?”  I thought.  We walk back into his room and he peed on the floor.  You have got to be kidding me.  How much freaking water did I give this boy?  Sidebar: That one was my fault because I accidentally left his potty downstairs.  He yelled, “pee-pee-pee-pee!” while doing the pee dance.  I ran downstairs to get the potty, but tripped over a laundry basket and stepped on some small blocks.  He held it as long as he could.  I didn’t make it back in time.  I certainly have cleaned up a lot of pee in the last few months.  Ahhh to be a mommy.

Have any pee pee stories of your own?  C’mon I know that I can’t be alone on this one.  Comment below!

 

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2

Potty Training Day 1

Let me start by saying that l am not a drinker.  But tonight, right now, I’m having a glass of wine.

I thought teething was bad.  Oooooweeeee… potty training is a beast.  Veteran moms answer me this: Is this how it’s going to be? Every time l feel like XYZ is the most stressful moment, another harder moment is waiting for me a few months away?  Talk about living on a roller coaster jeez.  I feel like I’m just riding the waves of his desires.  Feel like flinging food on the wall?  Mommy is here to clean it up.  Feel like having a meltdown because your blocks tipped over?  Mommy is here to comfort you.  And even after you said “I love daddy” FIRST… Mommy was still here to wipe your butt.  Hands down, being a parent is the hardest thing I’ve ever done.  Ever.

Phew. I feel a little better by getting that out.  Back to potty training…

Little Butt is used to the potty because l leave it in his room so he can casually practice on it (read: stand on it and jump off).  He’s a very smart baby so l figured I’ll just take his diaper off, put him on the potty and boom we’ll be done in no time.  Um no.  He peed everywhere, but the potty.  Luckily we have hardwood floors so the clean up was a breeze.  Even though I have Googled my little heart out, I don’t think that I properly conveyed to him what our goal was because immediately after I put him on the potty he jumped up, hugged me and peed on my shirt.  Yup.  I’m a pee pee girl.  (Waving my white flag).  I have no idea what I am doing.

This is all I can muster tonight.  Plus, the wine is kicking in and soon you’ll be reading I loooooovvveee my… hiccup… baby.

Goodnight.